Sitting behind her

She is my classmate and most of the time I used to sit behind her, sometimes a few benches back also. Not that close, but we were friends… at least. I always used to look at her and try to find reasons to talk to her. Then, I proposed her and unfortunate for me she said “No”. Still I sit few benches behind her …nothing has changed except that now I don’t speak to her. I don’t even look at her. I wanted to find love for me in her and I lost a friend. Now, I am afraid that if I speak to her or even look at her for a while I may fall in love with her again and I don’t want it to happen because now I know that she loves someone else. It’s painful but it’s the truth, she will never be mine.